Reuben A

Hi....... When Fallyn came to, she thought her eyes were still closed When Fallyn came to what? A steep drop made it impossible for her to get across unless… A ...

Sorry I'm reviewing this so late.... or red (unless provoked or made when made ashamed) Personally, I don't think that you should put the brackets in...rather comma's. John turned and ...

There's nothing to critt...wonderful. It's pretty much perfect. Please write more...I want to read more... :D :D :P :D :D

My footsteps echoed through the dormant house, silence ringing through my ears. The breeze sweeps through the house from a window high above my head. Echoed= past tense Sweeps= Present ...

The farmer sweared and ran inside his smll hut of a house, to get his rifle. Swore, small The trurkay was running on something bnlack and hard. Turkey, black A ...

Hi.... I liked your way of following up from the prologue. But, in the prologue, the dimensions get messed up don't they? But here the dimensions are fine...That's the only ...

I flew back from LaLa land, and stared at Nella. Well, this confused me...flew back to LaLa land? Did you fly away? I liked it...The only other thing that I ...

The lake before him glistened and the waves lashed upon the willows, but that was it. You talk like you've mentioned the lake before, but you haven't. Rather mention it's ...

Hi... the car sped down the street. the ? Doesn't the refer to a specific car. But isn't it just a random car speeding down the street? Replace it with ...

The demon called lemp, vile and ugly, Capital L Lemp took it with it's smelly green hands. The whole piece you use pronouns like he, but here you use it. ...

I spun around and saw a beautiful girl, about one year younger than me with short blonde hair and a pair of friendly black eyes. She had a black outfit ...

I could hardly believe that my head didn't fly off my body as I sank to the ground and began losing consciousness. How did it feel? Then, they disappeared. Walked ...

“Oh no”, Demeter whispered. “Aren’t they the guys from school? The ones that always get themselves drunk?” I don't know how it's from where yu comefrom, but here we have ...

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: It's 100% original...it's w

called Kirin, Chris's wizard master Like Meep said. Chris He looked through his many robes Is Chris a typo? Chris quickly located his midnight blue robes and slipped into them ...